This Is Not My Life...

Got me braces...feel like I've been smacked in the mouth with a hammer.

It's weird...no more Tony Blair, no more smoking...suppose the smoking ban's for the best but I'm still gonna miss Tony sort of.

My dog has breast cancer and my mam is in the kitchen crying.

Bloody hell...why do we get all the shitty luck? Why are we being punished again and again when there's people who deserve it more than us, paedophiles and murderers?

Sorry about that last post. Didn't mean to vent my spleen like that. Just a bit at the mo.

...you just feel totally worthless? Crap isn't it? Like really
I mean, God, what is the point? I'm going bloody insane, slowly and painfully and there's nothing anyone can do about it. I probably need a therapist but whatever.
Freaky little brattish sister driving me mad...everything she does, "Oh Fern is sooo perfect." I do the bloody dishes and get critisized, "Not done properly." She doesn't even bother and no one says anything to her.

And stupid boys. Stupid boys...argh so annoying. Bye bye Robbo. Hello single life. I've missed you so...not.

Going job hunting tommorow...so, I've just finished school, gotten out of that Hell Hole (well, ok, sometimes it was a fun place)for a while and now I've got parents breathing down my bloody neck and next my boss is going to be screaming at me. I can't wait to just DO something...I just wanna be on stage, and see those people looking up at me. All the people who have ever put me down or said I'm not good enough...just want them to see what I can do.

Some day I suppose.

The sky. It's so vast and endless. My crowd, they think they're giants. They're like dust in the eyes of God.

I feel like im in the middle of a crowded room screaming at the top of my lungs and nobody looks up.

Firelight

In the moonlight,
We made love,
In the shade of a thousand cacti,
You kissed my bloodied lips.

On the backseat of a busted Cadillac,
We whispered violent promises,
Sweet obscenities,
Love letters straight from Hell.

The sunset blazed like Judgement Day,
Above Monument Valley,
And we played amongst the stars,
And the screaming dust demons.

We rolled in the embers of the dying flames,
As the world burned around us,
And as daylight came we were no more,
Our legacy, a screech of tires against the tired earth.

The Girls

Tia: Have been best mates since we were 3 or 4. She is sensible and clever with a dry sense of humour and good taste in music. I guess you could say that she's the Dr Watson to my Sherlock Holmes, the quiet, strong influence with the common sense, my shoulder to cry on when it all gets too much. We've been through alot together and I guess that I don't appreciate her as much as I should and I never really have the time to tell he how much she means to me. She's always been loyal to me, even when I'm a bit of a bitch, and I know that I can open my heart to her and tell her anything.

Sam: Sam is the 'kitten' of the group, cute and stylish with a cheeky, mischevious side and the loudest laugh I've ever heard. She's an unpredictable fun loving party animal with a heart of gold and the best fashion sense eva (apart from my mam!) Sam is also kind, caring, sensitive and a little daft. She is seeing a lad called Russell, who is dead canny, and she is into emo and rock music like me. I wind her up about being vain and having 'Sam Moments' but she's always there for me.

Beka: AKA Berto. Beka is loud and proud, with a goofy, sarcastic sense of humour, a tomboyish attitude and a way of saying what she thinks, not matter who is there or where we are! Whenever we are all together the pair of us end up play fighting or calling each other stupid names. She's always at hand to make me laugh and he catchphrases include "I can smell ya!", "Ya big mong!" and "I'm gonna kill ya!" I love pissing her off by chasing her around shouting "Dammit Janet, I love you!" and pretending to propose to her.

Vicki: Vicki is the mother of the group, caring, sweet, supportive...but definetly not a pushover! She is footie mad, giggly and fiecely protective of her friends, NUFC and her favourite player, Steven Taylor. She gets on with almost everyone and even though I love winding her up about Mr McCann and being Steven Taylor's stalker, I really think she's fab! She has the cutest laugh, she's a little bit shy, really polite and puts herself down when she shouldn't. Her fave TV show is probably Lost and she loves Matthew Fox, who plays Jack. In P.E. we love doing little German slap dances beacuse we can't really dance unless we're pissed

Rachael: My David Bowie/RHPS soulmate. Great taste in music. She is who I turn to for a mad time and I am proud to say that I introduced her to RHPS! She is down to earth and goofy in the best way!

Sophie R: The sweetest, most loving girl ever! She is so canny and you just have to love her!

Sophie F: Down to earth and tough but deep down she's so vulnerable.

The Boys

Stephen: He understands my moods and takes all sort of shit off me. He can always make me laugh. Especially with the weird pony thing...

Alan M: Sadist in the making, tactless and really cheeky. But he's a great guy.

Alan H: We have some laughs, he's so funny and caring, would do anything for anyone...even though he laughs at me for crying at films.

Neil: Funniest guy ever...everything he says cracks me up - especially his impressions of our maths teacher and the weird puppet of Harry Truman he made.

Chrissy: So sweet and fun. His parties are the best and we always have a great time together.

Craig: Great laugh, really caring and he has great taste in...music, movies, men (lmao) and women (o/j...I mean c'mon he went out wiv me nd I'm...)

Josh: Craig's lil bro, total nutter and wilderbeast pervert. Loves taking the piss outta my taste in men.

Me mam, uncle and grandad...sorry, I DID think the three goats in the story were all called Billy and I didn't know about nanny goats and rams and stuff...and Josh u sooo cudnt do me.

Ok, I am rather bored, having nothing to do and seeing as it is still raining...so here is a guide to the people in my life.

Part One
Main Family Members:
Brian - My dad, aka Ned. Works at a hotel, is quite short tempered and very funny.

Lisa - My mam. Also works at a hotel. Head of the household, many leadership qualities, very protective.

Fern - My little sister, aged 12. Demon possessed.

Yvonne - My maternal aunt, mother's older sister. Hilarious, very caring...obsessed with all things Disney.

Michael - My maternal uncle, mother's older brother. Divorced, three children, one bitchy ex wife. Obsessed with bodily humour but always ready for a laugh.

Nana Angela - Maternal grandmother. Caring and fussy.

Grandad Don - Maternal grandfather. Conservative and caring.

Jasmin - Cousin, Micheal's daughter, aged 14. Chav, bane of my existence.

Kyle - Cousin, Micheal's son, 12. Fern's partner in crime.

Caitlyn - Cousin, Michael's daughter, aged 1, with girlfriend Mel. Sweet.

Mel - Michael's girlfriend. Sweet.

Melanie - Michael's ex wife. Bitch.

Grandad Ronnie - Paternal grandfather, very caring, very funny.

Nana Vera - Paternal grandmother, very social and family orientated.

Tracey - Maternal aunt, dad's older sister. Fun.

Debbie - Maternal aunt, dad's older sister. Also lots of fun.

Joanne - Cousin. Tracey's eldest daughter. A good laugh, my second sister, aged 26.

Stephanie - Cousin. Tracey's daughter, aged 23. Very sweet, stylish.

Andrew - Cousin, Tracey's son, aged 20. A jack the lad, good laugh.

Dean - Cousin, Debbie's son, aged 20. Also a jack the lad. Likes to tease me. Very protective.

Neave - Cousin, Debbie's daughter, aged 3. Very sweet and good natured.

Paul - Joanne's fiance. A good laugh.

Ellie - Joanne and Paul's boisterous daughter, aged 3, my god daughter.

Amanda - Andrew's girlfriend. Lovely lass, very easy to get on with.

Madison - Andrew and Amanda's daughter, aged 2. Adorable.

Well that's all for now. Going out. Cya xxx.

...was totally legend!
I woke up with only a patchy memory of the night, a splitting hangover and a text from my new boyfriend...three signs of a night well spent

Well...I got up this morning at 11 feeling good but seriously That passed soon when I realised my family had left the house in a state while I was partying yesterday and, becuase my dad is on night shift and was in bed, my mam works 9 til 5 and my sister bogs off with her stinking friends as soon as housework is mentioned, I had to clean up. Charming.

Then my auntie, uncle, two annoying cousins and nana came down for tea and irritated me.

What a bloody life.

P.S. Thanks for the comments left on my last two blogs.

I had my prom last night. It was quite fun...had a drink, a laugh, bit of a dance.
I won't describe my dress in great detail yet because I'll be pasting some pictures up as soon as my dad loads them onto the computer...it's blue, that's all I'll say.
I had an argument with Alan, my friend and date, because he wouldn't dance and he ended up with his tongue down that complete cow Emma Lowery's throat. But we made up, which is good because we've got another party tonight. And, the DJ, who was eyeing me up, thought me and Vicki were lesbians because we kept dedicating songs to each other.

Anyway, here's some tips...sort of...

Things I Learnt From Yr 11 Leavers Prom:

1. Don't let me near anyone with a long dress because I end up standing on it.

2. Choose a day when it doesn't rain.

3. Getting in a car/taxi/limo is difficult, be careful.

4. Choose your prom date wisely...if you are going with a male friend make sure you only like them as a friend, then you don't get pissed off if he fancys someone else.

5. Don't spend all night running after men - have fun!

6. Don't let your dad embarress you when he picks you up.

7. Don't let your mother poke you in the eye with eyeliner before you get there.

8. Bring your own booze coz they won't serve you.

9. Don't let your mother and female relatives take over the dress arrangements.

10. Dance with someone who can't dance...makes you look a little better.